


L'Onore e il Rispetto

by tallestgirlonearth



Series: Barisi Crime AU's [3]
Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Barisi Genres & Tropes Challenge, Crimes & Criminals, Fluff and Angst, Homophobia, M/M, Period Typical Attitudes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-19
Updated: 2021-03-19
Packaged: 2021-03-28 08:21:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,748
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30136698
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tallestgirlonearth/pseuds/tallestgirlonearth
Summary: Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr. is the youngest son of the most important family in Castelbuono, Sicily. Rafael Barba is the family's chauffeur, and also Sonny's soon-to-be brother in law. They all live according to the rules of God, the Church, and their village, but underneath the picture-perfect surface, a multitude of sins are hidden away.
Relationships: Rafael Barba/Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr.
Series: Barisi Crime AU's [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2195379
Comments: 2
Kudos: 19
Collections: Barisi Genres & Tropes Challenge





	L'Onore e il Rispetto

**Author's Note:**

> Another part of my Barisi Crimes AU series and the last (planned) contribution to the fabulous Barisi Genres & Tropes Challenge!
> 
> My inspiration for this is an Italian TV series called “L’Onore e il Rispetto”, which can best be described as a mobster soap opera lol. Its fourth season involves a gay love story, which doesn’t end well, but it stuck with me, so I decided to adapt it a little. Time-wise, this is set in a sort of ambiguously 50s/60s environment. Also, I feel like I have to point out that I don't condone any kind of misogyny and homophobia, and I don't mean any offense whatsoever to the inhabitants of Sicily in general and the villages I've named in particular.
> 
> As always, any kind of feedback is more than welcome :)

The dawn rises rosy and hot over the small village of Castelbuono in Sicily. A gentle breeze blows fresh sea air inland, enough to promise a welcome reprieve from the stifling summer heat that will undoubtedly descend later in the day. The sound of cicadas slowly vanishes under the din of the village awakening – blinds thrown open, coffee grinders at work, motorscooters being kicked into action and – permeating everything – the chatter of the inhabitants beginning their day and going about their business.

Whether in the seats outside the café or the pasticceria, in the queue at the greengrocers or at the bus stop where the workers assemble to head to Céfalù, today, there is only one topic of conversation.

“Have you heard?” Men and women alike will whisper in furtive tones.

“Don Domenico promised his daughter Gina to the family chauffeur!” The women will continue, scandalised.

“The Don has finally found a husband for that harpy daughter of his, and high time, too! She has been much too choosy.” The men will say, quietly pleased that the difficult middle child of Don Domenico and Signora Tessa Carisi will finally marry.

The Carisi’s have been the premier family in Castelbuono for as long as anyone can think of. They’ve protected the village, led it from the town hall, provided employment for the residents through an array of ventures and businesses, and if there is trouble in the family, it also affects everyone else.

In the case of Gina Carisi, each time she had dissolved yet another engagement without any explanation, she had broken many a young man’s heart and offended their families at the same time. Each time, Don Domenico had to swoop in and make amends, both to avoid the family’s reputation being brought into miscredit, and to ensure his business partners would remain loyal.

Now, the problem seems to be solved for good. Yesterday, Don Domenico was seen entering the church, and in the evening the announcement had been pinned to the board outside the rectory.

_With the blessings of our Lord and all his Saints, we,_

_Domenico and Tessa Carisi_

_are pleased to announce the engagement of our daughter_

_Signorina Gina Carisi_

_with_

_Signore Rafael Barba._

Rafael Barba is an upstanding man, well-respected in the community, and secretly adored by most females around. A handsome man of perhaps forty, he is meticulous in appearance, diligent in his duties, and unfailingly trustworthy in character. He has been with the Carisi family for years, and everybody in Castelbuono assumed he would eventually marry into the family.

However, it was assumed he would marry a cousin, or a business partner’s daughter.

Because, and no amount of favourable character traits can cancel this out, Rafael Barba is not from Castelbuono, not even from Céfalù. He is an outsider with Spanish roots from Syracuse, wasn’t even born in Sicily but on the mainland, and as such only holds the position of chauffeur to Don Domenico.

It is an important position, because he is always around and bears witness to many meetings and transactions, but it still makes him a servant, not a don.

And as such, he should be beneath Gina Carisi in everything but the aforementioned character traits. Everyone in Castelbuono silently agrees that Gina could have done a lot worse, but the general satisfaction with the match does not stop the tongues from wagging.

Why exactly did this match come about?

\---

It is the same question swirling around in Domenico “Sonny” Carisi Jr.’s head as he wakes up some hours later. The spontaneous celebration that followed his father’s announcement last night had been…spirited, to say the least, and as the family’s only son and future don, he was expected to partake.

This morning, he feels like throwing up, and that’s not just because of an excess of strong red wine and limoncello. He knows the answer to the question that keeps the whole village abuzz, but in this case ignorance would really be bliss.

He knows he will have to do it all again tonight, play the sweet-natured son when half the village will come to their little estate for the official engagement party.

He will have to fake happiness for his sister Gina, and a sort of almost-fraternal bond with the new fiancé, his father’s chauffeur Rafael.

He will have to keep all of his disgust at his family’s machinations quiet.

They have all decided to be happy that after six broken engagements on Gina’s side, she finally has found the one that will stick. Of course, it’s not quite the spontaneous but eternal flash of love that his parents would have everyone believe, no. The Carisi’s don’t really do romance, not when a better deal can be had. And once again, Gina’s fickle nature has made a deal necessary.

She is pregnant – not that either Sonny’s father or mother would acknowledge that openly.

Sonny didn’t know who the father is, but the rapid announcement rather answers his question. It has to be Rafael, why else would their father agree to give one of his daughters away to his chauffeur? It’s a match decidedly below their family’s standing, and their only saving grace is that Rafael Barba is a good man, and well-liked. What he lacks in wealth and social standing, he certainly makes up for in character and common sense.

At least that’s what Sonny’s parents think. He himself hates absolutely everything about the engagement. He is disgusted by Gina’s weakness of character, he despises his parents’ willingness to condone and gloss over her actions, and he despairs at Rafael’s involvement in everything. But nobody can know any of this, so Sonny has to keep the secret and suffer in silence.

\---

Just like predicted, the official party to celebrate the engagement of Gina Carisi and Rafael Barba is a well-orchestrated chaos. Basically everyone who is someone in the village of Castelbuono is in attendance, and the sumptuous gardens at the family residence are teeming with people.

Don Domenico is accepting everyone’s congratulations with joviality, and his wife entertains the other matrons and wives with her plans for the wedding ceremony, to be held in three weeks’ time. The cake is ordered, the cooks are busy planning the meals, and the local seamstresses are going crazy on the wedding dress. It is a fairly short-notice wedding, but, as Donna Tessa says with a bright smile, that’s no excuse not to go all out.

The bride-to-be herself is radiant – not with joy, Sonny thinks, but with smugness. He knows that he really shouldn’t be so bitter about everything when all the other family members have come to terms with the situation, but he can’t help it. Knowing that his sister has gotten away with her transgression only makes his own situation more hopeless.

He’s been gulping down glasses of champagne ever since the guests started arriving, otherwise he’s sure he won’t be able to keep up appearances.

Speaking of which.

The guests are still seated at the long wooden tables, the dinner is over, and it’s time for the speeches. His father goes first, as is his right, but Sonny is expected to say a few words, too.

With a heavy heart and queasy stomach, he taps his champagne flute and gets up.

“Well, dear family and friends, my father pretty much said it all, but as the bestest brother of our bride to be” - that remark gets a lot of laughs, because all the guests know it’s not hard to be the best when he is the only brother – “I can’t resist to say a few words as well.”

He turns toward Gina and her fiancé sitting side by side, like a perfect couple.

“As you all know, Gina is a couple years older than me…I’ll not go into any more detail because that would just be tacky. But as things stand, I’ve known all my life that my bigger sister wouldn’t rest until she found the perfect man for her. She told me as much when we were both in school and I told her that one of my friends wanted to go steady with her. I talked him up real good, but Gina said _Oh no, Sonny, he’s a kid who doesn’t even know how to treat a girl right._ So there you have it.”

All the guests are smiling and for once they don’t look at Gina with disapproval for her being such a headstrong young woman. No, tonight, on the night of her engagement, they are willing to let it all slide, because hasn’t she gotten what she wanted after all? A happy end with a good man?

Sonny feels the prickle of the champagne in his stomach. The evening is peaceful, but to him it feels like the world is closing in, choking him, because of the words he has to force himself to say next.

“I’ll only say this once, Gina, but it looks like you got it right at last. Rafael has been with our family for a long time now and nobody could possibly say that he doesn’t know how to treat you right.”

It sounds bitter to his own ears, knowing that her pregnancy is the result of Rafael treating her right, but the guests don’t know, and they take his words at face value. Nobody here knows anything, they’re all ready to overlook so many things as long as it means they can live in their blissfully happy little village world forever.

Sonny feels sick, in body and in heart, and it’s time for him to wrap this up.

He picks up his flute and raises it in the direction of the happy couple.

“To my sister and her husband-to-be. May God bless their union.”

His toast is echoed, together, with many “hear, hears”, and the official part of the evening is finally over. As soon as the music picks up and couples disperse to the dancefloor, Sonny seizes the opportunity to slink off deeper into the garden.

He’ll find no sleep tonight, so he might as well just sit out here and cry it all out.

\---

Sonny doesn’t actually know how long he’s been sitting alone in the dark. The party still isn’t over, he can hear the band and the low murmur of the guests, but night has firmly set, so it must have been two or three hours at least.

He never notices how time passes here, sitting by a half-overgrown pond, on a little wooden dock with his feet in the water. It’s his favourite spot. The others in the family don’t care for all the weeds and the mosquitoes buzzing, but to Sonny, it’s beautiful in a simple and entirely uncontrived way. And what’s even better is that he is left entirely to his own devices, a rare occurrence around the house.

He’s cold, and he’s tired, but he can’t bring himself to walk back to the house and hide in his own bedroom. That house will now forever be tainted with the knowledge that his sister had…relations there, before marriage, and Sonny wants to rage against the shamelessness of it, but not for the reasons his family suspect.

His mother had come to him after the announcement, because he had always been her secret favourite, and she’d seen his upset.

“Forgive them, my son, they didn’t mean any harm”, she’d said, caressing his cheek, before going back to folding laundry.

Under her breath, she’d clucked, “although why they couldn’t wait until after marriage I really don’t understand.”

Sonny’s answer had escaped before he could think about it twice.

“They followed their passions.”

At that remark, laughed.

“Passion? Oh, Sonny, what do you know of passion, innocent and unspoiled as you are?”

“I know just what they always say in books, and films. That it’s a force which overpowers everything.”

His mother had smiled softly.

“Well, you’re certainly right, it is overpowering. But love is a stronger force, and I truly hope that your sister and Rafael can find it in themselves to love each other, and not only feel desire.”

Her gaze had turned fond and proud in equal measure, as she once again patted his cheek.

“I’m just happy that out of all my children, you are the one who is capable of feeling love to the fullest. Love for our Lord and for our fellow human beings, that’s why you would never do such a hasty and unbecoming thing as having relations before marriage.”

Sonny’s cheeks burned with shame, for his sister, for himself, for his family who he had been deceiving for so many years, and he couldn’t stop a tear from rolling down his cheeks.

Thankfully, his mother had mistaken the expression on his face for anger and disbelief at his sister’s brazenness. She’d hugged him, implored him once again to forgive because “this too shall pass”, and left the room.

She hadn’t realised that the reason for his tears had been despair, and the hopelessness of knowing that the love and passion _he_ felt would never be met with such forbearance by _anyone_.

\---

A rustle behind him draws Sonny out of his musings, and he turns his head to see who is intruding on his secret spot.

There in the shadows, half hidden by a giant willow tree, stands Rafael.

Of course.

Right now, Sonny regrets ever bringing the other man here.

He looks every inch the fiancé, in a fine charcoal suit complete with vest and a deep burgundy tie tugged loose around his neck, but his expression is somber.

“Shouldn’t you be back at the party, showing off my sister?” Under any other circumstances, Sonny would flinch at his own tone, tired and irritated, but he can’t bring himself to keep up a faꞔade any longer.

Rafael regards him closely, and then takes a hesitant step out of the shadows and closer to Sonny.

“Gina is doing fine by herself, there’s no shortage of dance partners. I wanted to talk to you. Seems like we haven’t had one minute in the same room recently.”

He sounds calm, looks completely in control of himself and the situation, and for some reason this unruffled demeanour is the last straw. Sonny snaps.

“Yeah? I wonder why that is. Couldn’t possibly be the shotgun engagement that has everyone in an uproar. It’s a miracle that you even dare to talk to me at all, after you knocked up my sister!!”

“Sonny – “ This time, Rafael really does step into Sonny’s personal space, and reaches out to touch a shoulder comfortingly. But Sonny won’t have it.

“How could you? After everything? After fucking _years_ of keeping up appearances and sneaking around, you suddenly decide, what, you can’t be bothered anymore? And my own sister, for God’s sake! You could have chosen any woman in the village, but you pick my _sister_?”

His voice breaks, and he can’t hold back the tears of his broken heart.

Why should he, anyway?

Let Rafael see what he’s done.

The older man looks at Sonny and, shockingly, his eyes are equally wet. Deep green pools of sadness, of desperation, and Sonny drowns in them against his better knowledge.

He feels Rafael’s hands grip his arms tightly, hears him speak in a low, frantic rush, but it takes some time for the words to penetrate the fog.

“Sonny, please. _Please_. Listen to me. I know what it looks like, but it wasn’t me. It wasn’t me.”

Sonny lets out a noise that is half scoff, half sob. Of all the things to say; he really would have thought Rafael would me more creative with his excuses.

His disbelief must show clearly on his face, because Rafael gives him a little shake.

“ _Think_ , Sonny. For a shotgun wedding to be necessary, Gina must be close to showing, which means she’s what, four or five months along? Where was I five months ago, and where was Gina?”

Sonny blinks. He still feels ripped apart and flayed open, but he can’t help but listen to Rafael. Whatever the man says or does, he always has Sonny’s full attention.

Suddenly, a thought comes into his mind.

“Five months ago…it was still winter then.”

“Yes”, Rafael says, and presses on. “It was February and your sister kept pestering your father until he allowed her to travel to Milan and go shopping. She took your cousing Vincenzina along as a chaperone. And at the same time, your father was wrapped up in negotiations with his allies and had me drive him to Agrigento several times a week. You remember?”

“Yeah”, Sonny nods slowly. “It was fucking cold, and completely horrible, because I basically didn’t see you for weeks on end.”

Rafael nods, relieved.

“Yes. It was. I missed you terribly.”

He looks up at Sonny, his expression wide open and loving.

“Gina’s child isn’t mine, Sonny. I would never do that to you, God, I _couldn’t_. I love you, Sonny, and I want only you. Always.”

Sonny gives him a tremulous smile. He feels a bit lighter, now that he knows that his lover hasn’t cheated on him in the most heinous way.

“I’m sorry, Rafi. I should’ve known that you wouldn’t”

Rafael smiles back and leans up to press a short, sweet kiss to Sonny’s lips.

“It’s okay, amore. It’s a lot to take in.”

Yes, it is. Because even though Sonny knows their relationship with each other is still intact, there is the matter of the wedding.

“But now you’re engaged to Gina. Why did you agree? You know her, how difficult and demanding she is. And now that you’ll make an honest woman out of her, she’ll act with even more impunity.”

Rafael sighs and wraps his arms around Sonny’s waist, drawing him close.

“I know her, that’s just it. She may want me around for the honeymoon and a few weeks after that, but only to show me off as her husband. She’s not interested in me as a person, in any way. But that’s why I agreed, Sonny. Because while I give her a ring and the status of a married woman, she gives me the status of a Carisi family member. I can stay here, work for your father, and be close to you, and nobody will bat an eye if you get along really well with your brother in law.”

Finally, Sonny can see the whole extent of the situation and his eyes widen. What sounded like a terrible betrayal on Rafael’s part at first, is actually the biggest sacrifice anyone has ever made for him. Rafael is willing to bind himself to a woman who doesn’t love him, not even as a friend, is willing to tie his fortunes and his fate to the Carisis forever, just so they can be together without raising suspicion.

He raises a slightly trembling hand to caress Rafael’s cheek.

“Nobody has ever done something like that for me.”

Rafael gives him a smirk.

“Well, I should hope not, because then it would be my turn to go green with jealousy.”

They share another kiss, longer and more passionate, and this time they hug each other close after.

Clinging to Rafael, Sonny hears him whisper, “I love you”, over and over, and for the moment he is willing to believe that everything will work out in their favour.

\---

Rafael’s predictions for their future lives as brothers-in-law certainly seem to ring true, because the pending nuptials keep him around the house, and therefore close to Sonny, more than ever before. There are always things to be discussed – invitations, seating arrangements, the colour of the flowers, and so on and so forth. The future bride herself doesn’t actually seem to want her fiancé’s opinions, as she has plenty of them on her own, but the other two Carisi sisters and Tessa, the matriarch herself, are extremely fond of Rafael and include him in everything.

Don Domenico only rolls his eyes at the women clucking over swathes of fabric in his living room, and elects to go on long business trips.

Sonny valiantly tries to keep busy by helping his father, running errands for his mother, anything to while away the hours until wedding planning is finished for the day and Rafael can sneak away to meet him in the garden.

It’s almost like he’s reverted to the age of thirteen again, a sulking teenager nursing his first innocent crush, were it not for the fact that there is nothing innocent about his feelings for Rafael.

Sometimes he wonders how he even manages to keep everything under wraps, seeing how he usually an open book for anyone who knows him well. Just like now, for example. He’s sitting at the dinner table, and no matter how hard he’s tried to make himself presentable after a steamy make-out session with Rafael, he’s sure that his hair is still ruffled and his lips are pink and swollen.

He remembers how Rafael kissed him as if the world was ending, and only stops himself at the last second to brush his fingers against his mouth.

Oops.

His mother is giving him strange looks.

Sonny bites his cheek, hard, to make himself focus on his surroundings and the never-ending chatter of his sisters, even though he can still feel his whole body tingle.

Rafael and him didn’t have much time, so he already knows what he’ll be doing later, when he’s alone in his bedroom and the house is quiet.

\---

A little later, Sonny is helping his mother clear the table, while his sisters enjoy a glass of prosecco on the porch, giggling about men and the joys of married life that Gina will soon enjoy.

He doesn’t mind, he’s always been something of a Mama’s boy, and besides, what’s wrong with helping around the house? One of the lessons Domenico Sr. and Tessa instilled into their children at early age, apart from politeness and obedience, was humility – there are many people less fortunate than the Carisis and doing honest, menial work has never hurt anybody.

Just as Sonny is wrapping the leftover bruschetta up in tin foil, his mother closes the kitchen door.

Expecting a confidential conversation about suits and wedding gifts or whatever is on his mother’s mind right now, Sonny looks up with a smile – and freezes when he sees her looking at him with pursed lips and tears in her eyes.

“Ma? What is it? Are you okay?” he asks, alarmed.

Tessa sniffs, and shakes her head. “It’s not about me, Domenico.”

“I wanted you to come and help me prepare the puttanesca for dinner, because you always do it best, but you didn’t hear my calls, so I went out to look for you.”

No.

Oh, God, no.

Sonny tastes bile at the back of his throat, can feel the cold fingers of dread wrapping around his heart.

“I know how fond you are of the gardens, so I went to look for you there.”

Today is the day, then.

The one both him and Rafael always knew could come, but which they never planned for, because how could you plan your own end? How could you account for all the possibilities from being kicked out to getting executed to preserve the family honour?

“I saw you, Domenico. You and Rafael. I didn’t…I wish I hadn’t gone out there, because I can’t unsee it now. I can’t pretend that I didn’t see you and Rafael kissing, and I can’t pretend that I understand. He’s your sister’s fiancé. He’s _a man_!”

Under the onslaught of her incomprehension, her plaintive and accusatory tone, Sonny collapses into a chair by the kitchen table and buries his face in his hands.

“I didn’t plan to, Ma”, is all that he can choke out. “I’m sorry.”

His shoulders shake from the effort of suppressing his sobs, and after several long minutes of miserable silence, he can hear the rustle of her skirts as she sits down in front of him.

She puts a gentle hand on his knee, and looks up into her stricken face.

“I believe you. I believe that you’re sorry, and that you didn’t mean to. We’ll figure it out. We’ll get help.”

After the first wave of relief subsides, his mother’s words really sink in and he asks, puzzled, “what do you mean, get help? What could you possibly do?”

Tessa gives him a wobbly smile.

“You’re a good son, Dominick. You’ve never done anything wrong, we’ll figure out how you got so mixed up. I mean, it has to be a sickness of some sort, right? That would make you want to go after Rafael? Or is it that everything is about Gina and her marriage now? Don’t worry, you’ll find the right girl to marry as well, and when the time comes, your wedding will be twice as beautiful as hers. We just need to get this fixed first.”

Sonny’s knees are shaky, and he feels like he will faint any second, but he gets to his feet. He understands her full meaning now, and it makes him sick and angry at equal amounts.

“You can’t help me, Ma. Not like that.”

Tessa looks at him with wide eyes.

“It’s not a sickness. I was _born this way_ , Ma, all my life I’ve looked at boys the same way my sisters did. Getting crushes on them, wanting to be seen by them. I don’t like girls. I’ve never had any feelings for them. Ever.”

Now that his secret is out in the open, Sonny has no reason to hold back any longer, and the whole truth just comes rushing out. His mother is a kind woman, she’s certainly reacted to her discovery in a more level-headed fashion than he ever expected. Maybe there is hope for him, if he can only make her understand that this is just a part of who he is. No sin, no aberration of nature. Just love, in a different way.

“And this has nothing to do with Gina, the opposite, actually. Me and Rafael…we’ve been in love with each other for a while.”

His mother claps a hand in front of her mouth, and a quiet gasp fills the room. Sonny snorts, bitterly.

“So this is your reaction? You reward Gina for being pregnant out of wedlock by giving her a wedding and the freedom to act with impunity for the rest of her life, but you can’t bear the thought of me kissing a man? We took our time, did you know that? Rafael and me, we spent time with each other, we talked before anything more happened. He’s always been a perfect gentleman, and he loves me in ways I never even dreamed of. And he’s not the father of Gina’s baby!”

Tessa is fighting back tears again, but Sonny is done coddling to her sensibilities.

“Rafael is my life, Ma. I know it’s not what you wanted for me, but it’s what I want, and what I never thought I could have. Somehow, here in a small town in Sicily, in a society where a love like ours is condemned, I nevertheless found the person I want to be with. I refuse to believe that this is a sin, Ma. I feel loved, and blessed, and I really wish you could come to see our relationship as a blessing, too.”

This time, neither of them does anything to fill the silence. Sonny just leans back against the kitchen counter, staring into nothing, while Tessa wipes her eyes and tries to get herself back under control.

Will he be able to warn Rafael, Sonny wonders. Will they have time to get out before his father sends the family’s thugs to punish them for this?

“You’re right, Sonny”, his mother says quietly.

“About what?”

“We’ve let Gina do whatever she pleased, and she’s never been a good girl in the way you have always made us proud. I know that she got pregnant when we let her go to Milan with cousin Vincenzina, just as I know that Rafael is a gentleman. It’s just – “

Another sniffle, but then she gets up and crosses the room to stand in front of him.

“I just can’t understand how this can be a life you want. You’ll never be able to be together openly, you won’t get married, won’t have children…nobody can ever know about this. Is it really worth it?”

“Yes”, Sonny replies, firmly. “I know that it’s a lot to try and understand, but Rafael and I love each other, and we make each other happy. We’ve endured the secrecy for years, and we will endure it for the rest of our lives, as long as we can be together.”

He meets his mother’s gaze without hesitation, open and honest, and hopes she can see the truth of his words.

Finally, she moves closer, and hugs him.

More than that, she clings to him, as if he was just smoke under her hands, ready to slip away at a moment’s notice.

“You can’t stay here.”

Sonny doesn’t say anything. He’s tried his best to make her understand, but what is his word against a lifetime of indoctrination by priests and macho Sicilian men?

“If you stay here, you’ll be found out eventually, and I guarantee you that the others in the family won’t accept it. If you really want to be with Rafael, we need to find a way to get you both out of Castelbuono, and fast.”

His mother lets him go and takes a step back.

“I still have friends on the mainland who weren’t particularly happy that I married your father back in the day. I’m sure if I explain to them that you’ve had a falling out with him, they would help you and Rafael find a new life somewhere else.”

Sonny looks at his mother. There are still tears in her eyes, but her expression is resolute. In fact, she looks a lot like the young girl he’s seen in old pictures. The one who was born in a bigger city on the mainland, and had dreams and ambitions of her own before she fell in love and settled for being a housewife in rural Sicily.

“Are you sure, Ma? If you get involved and anyone finds out – “

“I know”, she interrupts him, “which is why you need my help because, frankly, we’ll need no small amount of creativity and stealth to get you out of here, and that’s a woman’s job. I’ve snuck out behind my father’s back before you were even born!”

They both share a laugh, tired but relieved that they have weathered this conversation and can still bear to be in each other’s presence after.

\---

The trip takes them seven hours of driving overnight, and they are anxious, overwhelmed with nerves almost the entire time. Rafael and Sonny take turns driving so they don’t have to stop, and Sonny’s Ma keeps up a steady stream of chatter so they don’t fall asleep.

The plan is as simple as it is daring.

Tessa and Sonny are supposed attend the funeral of Uncle Carmine De Santis, who is technically more of a cousin a couple times removed, and also very much not dead. Attending the fake funeral requires for them to travel all the way to Caserta, north of Naples, which is why Sonny’s father graciously volunteered Rafael to drive them.

Only they’re not going to Caserta.

Using some remainders of her dowry, which she wisely squirreled away for tougher times, Sonny’s Ma has bought them passage on one of the big ships traveling between Naples and the United States. There’s another uncle on Tessa’s side living in Queens, New York, and he is happy to help out. In fact, the entire De Santis clan jumped at the chance to assist in outsmarting Don Domenico Carisi, because the wound of losing bright and beautiful Tessa De Santis to marriage with a country bumpkin and a life in Sicily still run deep, even years after.

Once they’ve boarded the ship, Tessa will go to Caserta on her own, spend some time with her relatives, while posting pre-written letters in Sonny’s name to the Carisis in Castelbuono. After two weeks or so, the letters will stop, and Tessa will tearfully call her husband to inform him that Sonny and Rafael have vanished after a night on the town.

Domenico Sr. will be furious, will curse his wife to the ninth circle for suggesting the trip in the first place, but he knows he needs her to keep his status, so she will be safe.

“Don’t worry about me, boys”, she had assured them, “Dom is a hothead, but I never gave him reason to doubt my loyalty, and neither have either of you, praise God for that. The letters will do the rest, and nobody will ever suspect a thing.”

Sonny and Rafael had looked at each other with unease, but this was the only plan they had, and so they agreed.

“Sonny.”

Rafael’s quiet voice shakes him out of his doze, and he jerks upright in the passenger seat. “What is it?”

Rafael chuckles tiredly.

“It’s okay, everything’s all right.”

He points ahead of them, where Mount Vesuvius is looming over a sprawl of lights.

“Look. We’ve made it to Naples.”

Even though they are not out of danger yet, Sonny feels considerably lighter. They’ve managed to get this far, and as far as either of them can tell, they haven’t been followed. Seven hours lie between them and Sicily, and their ship leaves in two hours. By the time Domenico Sr.’s bruisers could reach the city, Rafael and Sonny will already be on open sea.

“Ma.” Sonny turns around to gently touch her knee. “We’re here.”

Tessa smiles sleepily, and attempts to fix her messed-up curls.

“Good. Now, let’s put the last part of our plan into action.”

Rafael drives them through the maze of streets towards Naples’ old town. After taking a few extra tours around the blocks to throw off anyone who might be on their tale, they park in a little side street and get out of the car.

The sea breeze hits them, together with the noise and the smell of the city. It’s oppressive, but Sonny inhales deeply. Today is the last day he will ever spend in his native country, and he’ll soak it all in, to preserve and remember when he gets old in a foreign land across the sea.

Rafael gets their bags from the trunk, and Tessa rummages in her purse. She takes out two thick envelopes and two passports.

“Here are your papers, instructions on how to get through immigration on Ellis Island without arousing suspicion, and directions to get to Queens. Oh, and something to float you through the first weeks.”

Sonny opens his envelope and finds a wad of cash. Dollar bills.

“Ma…” he starts, at the same time as Rafael awkwardly says, “Mrs. Carisi, you didn’t have to-“

“Hush”, Tessa interrupts them. “It’s less than it looks, and you need it more than I do. Now hurry along, it’s time for you to get on board.” She waves her hands impatiently, but her eyes are shining.

“Thank you”, Rafael says, with a rough voice. “This can’t be easy for you. I’m taking your son away from home, but you’ve gone above and beyond. I’ll be forever in your debt.”

Tessa shakes her head.

“Make sure that you look after my boy, and make him happy, and I’ll consider that debt settled.”

Rafael nods solemnly. “I will. I swear, on my life.”

She smiles, and then turns to Sonny.

There is so much he wants to say to her, but the words get stuck at the back of his throat.

“The same goes for you, my darling. Look after each other, will you? And write to Carmine when you get the chance, just so we know it all went well.”

“Of course, Ma. Tell him we say thanks, okay? You’ve all done so much more than we could ever hope for…”

It’s true. Not only did Tessa keep Sonny and Rafael’s secret, she also involved herself and several family members in helping them escape, all so they could be together in what, essentially, amounted to a life of sin in the eyes of everyone else.

She shakes her head and steps close so she can embrace him.

“We’ve done what we can to make sure you’re happy. I won’t pretend to understand your feelings, but I can see that they’re real. That’s enough.”

They cling to each other for several long minutes, until Rafael steps in and carefully rests a hand on the small of Sonny’s back.

“It’s time.”

They let go, Tessa turns to give Rafael a quick hug and a kiss on the cheek, and then she gets back into the car.

One last look, a smile, a nod.

The car starts, and drives away, and they’re left in this little alley in Naples, all bridges behind them burned, and a passage to the new world beckoning.

\---

“See ya next week”, Pat calls and Sonny waves a goodbye as he pushes open the door of Manhattan Community College. His classmates will be heading out to the bars, but he’s headed home for a hot dinner and a quiet night in. The past months have been a dream, so much that not even the daily grind of work and night classes can dampen his spirits.

New York, and especially Manhattan, is a teeming metropolis of excitement, and opportunity, and Rafael and Sonny allowed themselves to get swept up in the current as soon as they arrived. They spent the first weeks after their arrival in the attic of Uncle Martin’s house in Queens and pounded the pavement in search for jobs, until they had enough funds to move into a place of their own.

Home is now a tiny two-room apartment in a tenement block on Elizabeth Street. It’s not exactly the best area of town, and it’s full of other Italians who have been in the country for longer and they have welcomed Sonny and Rafael with enthusiasm. As far as everyone on the block is concerned, they’re cousins who came to the States together, and decided to become roommates to save money. It’s a reasonable set-up, nothing out of the usual in a community where money is tight but ambitions are huge, and besides, everybody has their own struggles. There is a sense of solidarity, the neighbours share information about new jobs and chat to them in Italian, but other than that nobody bats an eye at Sonny’s and Rafael’s comings and goings.

Which means that, even though being gay is no more legal than it is at home and they are surrounded by hundreds and thousands of people every day, they can still live and love more freely than ever before. As long as they keep up appearances in public, Sonny and Rafael can live like any other couple.

Privately, Sonny thinks of Rafael as his husband.

His partner in life, who he can’t wait to get home to.

It’s Friday, the Memorial Weekend lies ahead of them and summer beckons with sunny days and long starry nights.

Their jobs - Rafael drives a cab and Sonny waits tables – don’t allow for many indulgences, not when most of their pay goes toward living expenses and Sonny’s studies to become an accountant, but every once in a while they manage to put aside enough to take a day off work. This weekend, they’ve taken two, and are planning to head out to Coney Island.

It’s not much, but it’s everything they ever wanted and more than they expected to have.

Sonny pushes the rusty steel door open, and climbs the stairs to their apartment, passing by children playing on the staircase and old ladies chatting door-to-door.

When he finally steps into #9b, he is welcomed by the smell of coffee and spices, and the sound of doo-wop spilling from their crappy radio in the corner of the main room.

He toes his shoes off and deposits them beside the door, calling “honey, I’m home.”

Rafael pokes his head around the corner of the kitchen alcove with a warm smile.

“Hi, sunshine, how was your day?”

Sonny smiles back, and steps close for a kiss.


End file.
